58 Years Ago

My mom and dad on their Wedding Day 10/24/1959

My original post had the wrong date!  My mom got married in 1959, not 1958! Silly me! I blame it on stress!

For weeks I planned to write a wonderful piece about my mom and dad on their wedding day. Due to the fact that I have to work and right now work is unbelievably stressful and crazy with so much to do all of the time, I will at least get the pictures posted with a short story.  After all, I started this journal to help me with the chaos and stress in my life as I take care of my mom.  I can't let this day go by without acknowledging how special it is.

This is my mom and my dad on the morning they got married.  My Godfather was my dad's best man.  All I remember is I called him Papa Chet. I know he got me a big stuffed bunny once but that is all I can remember about him. I have no idea who my mom's maid of honor was and now I cannot ask her. My mom and dad didn't get to have a fancy wedding with a reception.  They were lucky that the priest married them in the church at all.  The story is that my dad had to sign a paper saying he would raise me Catholic in order to get married in the church.  My mom's big celebration after her wedding going out to breakfast.  This always made me sad.

From the time I was a little girl, I always felt badly that my mom didn't get to have a fancy wedding.  I think that is why she tried to make sure my wedding was spectacular and she did do that!  The only real argument I had with my mom over wedding plans, I had to call upon my dad to solve. My mom booked a Polka Band for my reception and when I found out, I ran crying to my dad.  Why would she think I would want a Polka Band?  My dad pointed out that maybe my mom had always wanted a Polka Band for her own wedding reception. Being Daddy's Little Girl, (or Monkey as he called me), there was no Polka Band at my reception!

My mom never complained about the fact she didn't have a wedding.  In fact, she was always planning parties and events for other people. I was so happy when I got the opportunity to surprise my mom when I threw my parents a big 25th Anniversary Surprise Party, complete with a caterer and a Polka Band.  I made sure she got to have a cake similar to a wedding cake and I hired a photographer to take pictures.  They got to dance first and cut the cake just like it was a wedding reception. Family and friends came from all over and helped us to celebrate. The couple even 'second honeymooned' in Niagara Falls!

Today I just know my dad is looking down from Heaven and keeping an eye on my mom.  I also know that either he or my Aunt Karen paid a visit to me the other day while I was on the phone discussing the need now for a chair alarm for my mom's safety.  While I was on the phone with the nurse, I was fighting back tears because I knew that this is another step toward my mom losing all mobility.  I looked out my door and there was the most beautiful red cardinal on my porch railing.  It really was looking inside my door right at me. I turned to get David's attention, while listening to the nurse. The cardinal moved to a shrub but stayed long enough for David to witness it too.  He went quickly to get his camera but it left just as he was ready to take a picture.  We haven't seen it since.......but I am sure we will see it again probably when I need it the most.

(I don't have time to proof read it as I should right now.  I just want to post it for now and then I will come back as soon as I can.  Please excuse any typos etc.)

Canned Beans in Nooks and Crannies

My mom had OCD before there was even a name for it.  When I was younger I thought it was the most annoying behavior and as I grew up I adopted the opposite way of living. Well, not actually the complete opposite because that would make me a hoarder of everything with no place to walk in my own home.  I became less concerned with every single owner's manual, store receipt, beautifully ironed everything, cabinets that had their own map of their layout, etc. 

There was a file file cabinet in my mom's 'office' where she even filed every upc code from every package of any type of food she purchased.  She even kept candy wrappers because you never knew when Hershey would office a special prize if you had enough of them to send in.  The thing is, my mom knew where everything was and when asked for something she was able to produce it immediately. 

Aunt Karen and me! 1961

I never adopted this habit and I am sure my own kids can attest to it. Perhaps it was because we tend to want to be the opposite of our parents when we first begin our adult lives.  Perhaps it was because my mom did everything and I never learned how to clean a house or wash a load of laundry before I got married. I could keep wondering this forever.  

One of the earlier signs that something just wasn't right with my mom's brain was when my Aunt Karen came to visit one summer day.  Karen noticed that my mom had moved some things in her house, which was not my mom.  I don't remember what she was looking for, but she stumbled upon cans of kidney beans in almost every cabinet, night stand, end table, and closet she opened.  Knowing my mom's obsession with 'everything in its place', she immediately called me out of concern.  When she teasingly asked my mom about them, my mom shrugged and said she didn't know how they got there but then just went about her day as if there weren't 48 cans of beans spread throughout her house.

My mom March 2003

Yesterday I went to get a can of beans for my soup.  I searched everywhere where canned beans should be.  Hmmmm...I found a can of kidney beans in the closet of Nora's room.  Hmmmmmm.....makes me think I should write this one down, just in case!