And Then There is This Yellow Bowl

I was fortunate to turn 58 last week and it really got me to thinking.  A month ago I started to think about all the things that I have not done by now that I had hoped to do. There are so many places I thought I would have traveled to and so many things that I had planned to do one day when we had the money.  I usually don't feel sorry for myself because I have started to appreciate the fact that I am lucky to be this age and having my health and family is the biggest blessing I could ever have.  So when those 'feel sorry for myself' feelings happen, although they are few and far between and only last a short time, they usually end up with me missing my mom more than ever.  I know I am physically able to still sit with her and she can babble nonsense to me, but I am really missing the mom I knew.  

On the eve of my birthday, I wondered if I was feeling this sadness because this school year has been the epitome of the worst year in teaching or because I was really struggling with turning 58 (which made no sense to me if you know me).  Never has a birthday worried me because I love my birthday.  I don't even mind telling my kids at school how old I am.  I am so lucky to have a birthday.  I go to the gym.  I watch what I eat.  I try to be mindful and have balance now in my life.  I am literally happy most of my days and rarely ever see 'the glass half empty". This didn't come easily...it's taken many years of thinking that my life should be something else when it just is what it is and I know my happiness depends only on me. 

So this was a surprise to me when I truly just wanted my mom.  I wanted her to remember to send me a card.  I wanted her to forget it was my birthday and show up at my house at 9:00 pm with a piece of cake from Cumby's like she did the last year she really understood it was my birthday (and had forgotten).  Most importantly, I wanted her to make me my birthday dinner.  Some may laugh but given the choice each year, I would choose my mom's meatloaf, scalloped potatoes, and tomato bread pudding for my dinner choice.  Nothing to me meant  mom's best cooking as those three things on my birthday.  

That's where the Yellow Bowl comes in!

The Yellow Bowl-one of my biggest childhood memories!

My mom had a set of Pyrex mixing bowls.  The largest is yellow.  Then the sizes go smaller and the colors change with sizes.  Green is next, then red, then blue. I am lucky enough to have kept these bowls when we cleaned out her house.  I wasn't using them because there was a point I felt that maybe she got Alzheimer's from the things she cooked with.  I wouldn't use her aluminum cookie sheets or her old Tupperware either.  I decided that Pyrex bowls are just that.  Pyrex bowls and that not using them was just silly.  So, I took them out and now I am using them every day!  (I know it's only been a week but they are present again in my life!)

Nora mixing the wet ingredients for the cake. 

This yellow bowl holds so many treasured memories for me.  My mom made macaroni salad, potato salad, and coleslaw in this bowl every summer.  She made her 'dressing' in it for holidays, often baking it right in the bowl.  Everything baked was mixed in this bowl until she got her kitchen aid from my grandmother (which my daughter has now).

Nora learning to sift the flower with Grampa's help.

This past weekend, instead of the stainless mixing bowls, I handed my yellow and green bowl to my granddaughter and husband to use to make a cake.  It may be my imagination but I really believe that the cakes we made this weekend tasted better out of this yellow bowl.  Who knows......all I know is that I am now on a quest to find pictures of my mom using her bowl because I know I have many of them. 

Today when I left my mom after a visit, I told her that I am going to use her yellow bowl tonight and I showed her a picture.  She smiled and said, "Yes, Yes, Yes!"  Who knows?  Maybe she was just babbling but then again, maybe she was happy that I was still using her yellow bowl.

Miss Nora Rose with the cake she baked with her grampa!