The Circle Of Life is Not Just For the Lion King

Yesterday my daughter came to visit with her children after I returned from visiting my mom.  As we sat at my kitchen table, we looked through old pictures. We had a great time and I was so happy to have them come over. There were Lego's, Play doh, and songs via Alexa.  We had cheese and crackers and juice. This reminded me that I did this many many times at my mom's kitchen table over the years.  I remember having to break up my day with my little ones, so I would go to my mom's for awhile.

Then it hit me!  This is the circle of life in real life.  As I looked at my grandchildren I tried to make sure to love every second they were here and ever second my daughter was here.  After all, what is more important than family.  This is how we make memories.  All of the times I spent at my mom's house visiting with her were now just replaying at my house.....one big circle.....but then I was reminded of a trip to NYC in 2000.

If you knew my mom before AD then you know that she was the sweetest and most loving person.  She adored her grandchildren and other than still missing my dad tremendously, she was happy.  In July of 2000, something really started to change but it was a slow change that takes hindsight now to realize there were signals something was amiss.  For Mother's Day, my sister in law and I purchased tickets to take a day trip to NYC with our moms and our daughters to see "The Lion King" on Broadway!  After the tickets were purchased we discovered that both of our daughters were going to be away at a field hockey camp.  I took my youngest son instead and my sister in law took her husband.  However, we still took our moms!

My youngest son was going to be entering 6th grade in the fall.  My mom spent a lot of time with her grandchildren.  She most recently had spent a whole week with us all on a cruise to Bermuda and shared her cabin with my youngest son. She spoiled them and they adored her! This should have been a great trip for all of us.

The bus ride turned into a bit of a parental nightmare as I recall.  It was like driving with two siblings, of the same age, fighting in the back seat. As we started the trip, my mom and my son sat together. About half way to NYC they began to bicker.  It continued until my mom insisted that my son was being mean to her.

I had to separate them on the bus. At one point both of them were crying!  I believe they both stopped their shenanigans outside of NYC, but it set the tone for the day!  I remember eating at an Olive Garden in Times Square. We made sure the two of them were separated there too!

In hindsight, as I tell this story, it brings to light that this may have been the pivotal moment where things started to really fall apart. There had been some money red flags prior to this, but nothing of this magnitude that involved my mom feeling my son was being mean to her.  When a person has developed Alzheimer's, they often go through a phase thinking that everyone is out to get them, steal from them, etc. Through research, learned that it is often the people they are closest to that the patient "thinks" is causing them harm of some sort. Pay attention to your loved ones if this starts to happen and they begin to act out of character.  It isn't the person actually as you think it might be, it is the disease itself.  My mom would be devastated to realize she acted like this with her grandson. That's the thing!  She never realized it......and I am thankful for that.