The Love of Her Life

I have read many books over the years and seen quite a few movies.  Love stories have always intriqued me.  Going through millions of pictures recently made me realize something.  My parents were a living love story right under my nose and I really didn't see it clearly until now. There were many stories my mom told me about my dad before my mom's mind became 'fuzzy' from AD.  One thing

My mom and dad probably around 1963

though she always said was that she didn't know what would have happened to her if it wasn't for three people in her life.  The first was her grandfather, the second were her aunt and uncle on 'the farm', and the third and most important was my dad, Jack.  My mom told me bits and pieces over the years about her childhood or as I refer to it the childhood she never had.  Her mom died when she was nine years old. That would be hard enough for any

child to deal with but she had to endure a few years of hard times with her own father after that. Infact, years that no child should have to deal with.  Needless to say, my mom never spoke highly of her father.....enough said about that topic!!!

Fortunately, her grandfather stepped in to help. After seeing the life my mom was living with her father, my aunt and uncle stepped in and took my mom in to live with them when she was 12 1/2.  Oh the stories she told me about her Aunt Ann and Uncle Joe.  I will be forever grateful for them and as I eventually share some of what she has told me about her teenage years, you will see why.

I am not quite sure when my mom met my dad, but I do know she was engaged to someone else at the time. Her yearbook tells a story of how popular she was. If it wasn't for her aunt and uncle, I am betting she would not have had the high school years she did and perhaps she may not have even graduated from high school.

After I had to move my mom into the Alzheimer's facility where she now resides, I found letters my mom kept from correspondence with my dad. On October 24, 1959 my mom and dad were married.  There was no big wedding.  They were married in the rectory and then went out for breakfast. My mom had been raised Catholic and it was something Aunt Ann believed in. The priest had my dad sign a paper that would say that any children would be raised Catholic.  He signed it but never went to church himself. When I later married in the Lutheran Church, Aunt Ann didn't want to acknowledge my marriage for quite a while. After my mom and dad married, my mom had a family that she treasured and whom treasured her. She truly became a Hogan when she married into the family and to this day she remains a Hogan.

My dad passed away from lung cancer on March 5, 1992.  He took my mom's heart with him that day. She and I took care of my dad at home with the help of hospice.  The day that he passed, the hospice nurse was with my mom and explained that he needed her to tell him it was ok to go 'home'. The moment my mom told my dad that it was ok, he took his last breath on earth. I promised my dad the night before that I would always take care of her and to this day I have kept and will keep my promise.

I am not a medical professional.  I have read a lot about Alzheimer's.  I truly believe that her broken heart contributed to the early development of this terrible disease that she would later be diagnosed with. Throughtout the years after my dad passed, my mom never dated.  She said that my father would roll over in his grave if she did!  It makes me laugh when I hear the stories about my mom finding 'friends' at her facility of the male persuasion.

Just the other night I received a phone call from her nurse around 10:00PM.  She was just reporting to me that my mom fell off the edge of a recliner, as she tried to sit with a gentleman.  She was not hurt thankfully.  Some people may find that upsetting, but I found it to be funny.  I know my mom's heart belongs to my dad and always will. For now, I just want her to be happy and I hope to always have the love for my husband that she had for hers. I am sure my dad isn't 'rolling' over in his grave.  I am betting he is smiling down keeping an eye on my mom!